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Useful contacts

Samaritans: tel.
08457 90 90 90 jo@samaritans.org

confidential telephone
and email support for anyone who is worried, upset, confused or is feeling suicidal

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Tel: 0800 83 85 87
Open Monday to
Thursday 6pm to 2am
Friday 6pm through to Monday 6am.

Breathing Space have experienced advisors
who will listen and
provide information
and advice.

Information for survivors about self-harm

Self-harm can be very hard to understand, both from the people who do it and for those who support them.  The main thing to realise, and accept about it, is that it is a way of coping.  It is not madness, or attention seeking, or a suicide attempt.  There are always very powerful reasons why a person chooses to harm the self and self destructive though it may seem, self harm is a way of surviving usually in the face of great emotional pain. 

The term ‘self-injury’ refers to acts which involve inflicting pain, wounds or injuries on one’s own body. Self-injury is also sometimes called ‘self-mutilation’, ‘cutting-up’, ‘self-abuse’ or ‘self-harm’ (a broader term) and can take many forms e.g. cutting, burning, bruising, biting or tearing the skin, punching oneself, alcohol or drug abuse.

The reasons for self-harm are complex and can vary from individual to individual.  Self-harm almost always begins in response to painful and difficult experiences in the individual’s life.  Sometimes these stem from childhood trauma, though it can also be part of distress experienced in adulthood.  Often there is no single cause that can be identified for self-harm, but it comes from a number of factors combining together in life which increase vulnerability and lead to a need to cope, or express feelings through self-harm. 

Self-harm can seem very difficult to overcome, yet it is possible for someone to stop hurting themselves.

What can help?

Talking: face to face or on the telephone to a friend, counsellor, helpline, and to people who care, accept and value you.  It is better to try to talk about feelings early, rather than waiting until you are overwhelmed.

Writing: writing letters, poems, stories, or simply odd words (large, small, in different colours etc), this can help express feelings and experiences.  It is particularly useful if there is a helper willing to read and take and interest in what you write should you wish to share it. 

Art activities: drawing, painting, collage, clay, plasticine, photography, music, etc.are particularly valuable where words are difficult or seem inadequate.  The aim is self-expression rather than the production of ‘a good piece of art’.  Encouragement to explore and to use media (crayons, large paint brushes, finger paints, face paints) can be helpful.  Again, you may wish to share what you have done. 

Exercise: walking, running, swimming, weights, gym, hitting a punch-bag, cycling, dance etc.  Exercise helps release emotions, tension and energy.

Physical means of expression: smashing, hitting or kicking something (safely), shouting, screaming, crying, moving one’s body in an appropriate way.
 
Relaxation: warm bath, aromatherapy, yoga, relaxation tapes or gentle music, nurturing, contact with nature, massage etc.

Physical reassurance: being touched, held or cuddled (but only at a time and in a way of your choice).

Self-nurture: Receive or give self-nurture, comfort and caring.
Create a safe, warm, comforting place in your home; enjoyable and nurturing activities and rituals; use of affirmations (written by yourself or others).  You may need help in identifying things that you would enjoy or find comforting.

Interupt. Put off hurting yourself until the next day, by which time the urge may have disappeared; working out mental steps between something happening and wanting to hurt oneself – then interrupting the process by doing something different e.g. driving, cycling or walking (activities which make it difficult to injure oneself and use up energy).
                               
                                      Seeking medical help

Many women are justifiably reluctant to seek medical help because of bad experiences, when they felt they were being judged or punished for hurting themselves.  You have the right to decent, sensitive treatment for your injuries.  You are not less worthy of help than someone who has had an accident. Don’t put yourself at risk by denying yourself the help, kindness, support and acceptance you need.

People who self harm may be seen for an assessment at some hospitals by a psychiatric nurse. This may be helpful but you do not have to explain yourself to anyone if you don’t want to.  However, if the hospital feels you present a serious danger to yourself, they may insist you see a psychiatrist and try to keep you in hospital.  However the hospital may be prepared to let you go home if there is someone to look after you.  In this case, having a friend to support you and argue your case could be helpful for you. (You may want to find out about your legal rights in this situation.)

                                   Useful books and websites
       (for a fuller list of resources and books, please contact WRASAC)

Dace, E et al (1998) The ‘Hurt Yourself Less’ Workbook. National Self-Harm Network.  Nottingham.

Ludeon, Jennifer (1992) The Women’s Comfort Book. Harper.

www.nice.org.uk
National Institute of Clinical Excellence.  Information for people who self-harm

www.selfharmuk.org
Young People and Self-Harm.  A National Inquiry.

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